You’ve heard it before, and you’ll hear it again, “wedding planning is SO hard.” Wedding planning is stressful in many ways. Some of the reasons why may make sense, and others might come as a surprise to you. So why is wedding planning such a challenge for so many couples?
1. Wedding planning requires communication
Whether or not you’re a natural at discussing your thoughts and opinions with others, when planning your wedding, you will have to accept the challenge of communicating efficiently. And not just with a handful of people you already know. You’ll have to talk to people you’ve never met, communicate in ways you may dislike (yes, people still talk on the phone), have to move past the annoyance of not receiving a response (those vendors weren’t right for you anyway), and share your hopes and dreams with people you’ve literally never met before. All of this can happen for months (possibly years) at a time. And sometimes it’s not easy. So take a deep breath. Figure out how you best communicate when you’re feeling empowered. Then, make sure that the first successful channel of communication is between you and your future spouse. After all, if both of you are struggling, how will you handle expressing your needs to vendors, family, and friends?
2. Planning a wedding requires time
As I am sure you know, you most likely will not be planning your wedding in a day. The reason planning requires so much time is because wedding vendors are busy too. We’re busy making sure your day is perfect for you (and all the other couples we’re supporting along the way). Big decisions cannot (and should not) be made overnight. If they are, you may come to regret them later. So take the time to do things correctly. Being engaged should be a time of happiness and celebration - enjoy it before it’s over!
3. Opinions of others are constantly being shared with you (welcomed or not)
Whether or not you’ve experienced this already, there will be MANY people willing and ready to share their opinions about your wedding with you…whether you’ve asked them to or not. These opinions and offers of advice can be overwhelming. And while they are most likely well intentioned, it can be a LOT to have to hear from people over and over again. So set aside time to have conversations that are not wedding-focused. Be open about your boundaries within conversations, and find ways to appreciate the advice that is useful to your planning process.
4. Planning a wedding requires making decisions
This point is one that resonates deeply with me. Much of the #wedstress we experience while planning comes from the ENORMOUS amount of decision making involved. Some people enjoy pouring over many shades of white napkins for hours. Others love discovering the endless options available to make a chair beautiful. To some people, choosing and decision making is exciting - and that’s wonderful! However, for others, it can be a lot to process and may keep you awake at night. So take another breath. Make some lists. Remember, even though there are a lot of decisions to be made, many of them are small details. You have the power to make swift choices, or remove items from the list altogether. The important thing is what you decide.
5. You’ll have to talk about your financial comfort zone
Finally, we come to the big one. Weddings are costly. But here is something a lot of vendors don’t want to say to you - weddings don’t have to be expensive. Early in your process, decide your financial comfort zone. Factor in any monetary support you may receive from family and friends. Become comfortable with figuring out budget details with your spouse early. The longer you ignore this discussion, the worse it will feel to have to find the means possible to pay it off (should it come to that). No wedding is worth going into extreme debt over. While we want every detail to be beautiful and uniquely you, your marriage should come first. The love between you and your future spouse? Priceless.