To those of you who had a date you were SO looking forward to but had to reschedule. To the ones who cancelled or postponed to a new date. To everyone who is now facing uncertainty and unrest after the excitement of getting engaged. To all those who sacrificed, cried, stressed, tried to be flexible, and so much more - this one is for you.
People on the outside of your planning process may express sympathy, but do not completely understand the struggle you are facing. Others may try to remind you that it “could be worse.” And still more people might express that you do not have the right to grieve (for any number of reasons). I am here to tell you that what you are facing (however it looks) is real, valid, and worth grieving over.
I will always be the first to remind couples that wedding planning is not easy. Throw in a global pandemic with an entire ripple effect of bad news, stress, anxiety, worry, and continuous heartbreak, and all your successes seem to be falling apart right in front of you. Please take the time to process what you are facing and give yourself grace. You are an unstoppable force doing amazing things as you try to pull this off. And while on some days it may seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, I hope you are still finding the silver linings of your situation.
No, things have NOT turned out as planned, but everything happens for a reason. Use your micro wedding to focus on the most important people in your life. Take advantage of your postponement as a second celebration of your love if you eloped before hand. Cancel your wedding and start fresh so that you have more time to make it even more amazing than you originally intended. But before you do all of that, allow yourself a moment to grieve over the cards you have been handed and the losses you have faced. And for the love of God, please take that mental health break. You have more than earned it, my friend.
In the end, you will get to marry the love of your life (no matter how far away that end goal seems to you right now). That might look like a wedding wearing masks, having only a handful of people in attendance, getting married in a remote setting with just the two of you, or pushing your wedding date into the future. Whatever your celebration ends up being, pause to appreciate the fact that you have found someone amazing enough to call yours forever. Use the time to strengthen your relationship. Find ways to explore what you both truly want your wedding day to look like. Give each other the grace to make the decisions that will make you happy. One day you will look back on all of this and feel SO proud of yourself for accomplishing what once seemed impossible.
For now though, take a breath. Have a bubble bath. Open a bottle of wine (or make tea, or have tequila), and know that you are not alone in all that you are experiencing. You are amazing and you’ve got this.
xo, Theresa